Sly's St(r)eam Tombola Thread: Children of Morta

[Sly Reflex]

Fuck. I hope game 50 is better. Well, it has to be better than this clinker, but you know what I mean.

[Sly Reflex]

No more. I've seen enough. This game is as insipid as they come, it's like a playable version of daytime tv. I can't take it anymore.

Game 50 is Superbrothers Sword and Sorcery. Also there's only 100 games left to play. That's some progress, more than I could have ever estimated for when I started this trek.

[Sly Reflex]

To be honest, that says a lot more about what I think about The Last of Us than it does the games that I've been playing. Besides, Far Cry 3 was really fucking good. It surprised me how good it was, I was expecting it to be overrated pish but it turned out to be tier 1 stuff.

[Duck]

Farcry 3 is no where near as good as Last of Us Simon..

[Sly Reflex]

From a gameplay point of view it pisses on TLoU. My opinion of course. If you don't like it, then fuck off.

[Uncle Dokuro]

Sacred Citadel was a good arcade style hack 'n' slash. Granted it was no Guardian Heroes, but it was good and I happend to ike the visuals too. The reason it has nothing to do with the first two games is it a prequel to Sacred 3, which as has nothing to do with the first two games.

[Sly Reflex]

It broke the immersion because the game part of TLoU wasn't great. The running about and shooting/stealthing was superior in every single way in FC3.

In TLoU I just hated it when it came to the shooting/stealthing. Off the top of my head, Dishonored, Deus Ex, Alpha Protocol and Far Cry 3 all had better stealth, even though I didn't like some of those games I can see that parts of them are better than than other games.

Just because something has had lots of money thrown at it and is covered in spit and polish means it's automatically good. I mean look at the Transformers movies. Utter garbage.

[Sly Reflex]

My opinion is always right, it's just that you don't agree with it.

Played 20 minutes of S+S. I type S+S because I cannot be fucked to type its stupidly long fucking name out every single time. It seems like some art house indie thing you're meant to play for 10 minutes every day. Seems good enough, but it's clearly a phone game which I'm not particularly fond of.

What I do like from S+S is the music, it's really good. I'm not sure if it's reactive or whether it adds the layers in as you hit certain points, but it is really some excellent music.

[Sly Reflex]

I literally have no idea what the fuck is going on in this game. I think you must need to be stoned or have your 3rd eye open to understand this.

[Hendo]

I love the art and the music, not sure how far I got though.

One thing I really didn't take to was the writing style which came across as really trying too hard to be cool and cynical and hipster shit.

The music though is sublime. I bought the soundtrack and have it on my phone. "The Prettiest Weed" is just an amazing piece of music.

http://youtu.be/bKadAkbl4Gw

Also I took a screen capture from the game and it's been my lock screen on my iPad since I got it which is a good couple of years at this point.

[Sly Reflex]

I fought the Illuminati. I think. OVERT SYMBOLISM! /MrTorgue

[Sly Reflex]

Seriously though, what the fuck is this about? I don't understand what's happening at all.

If you're not going to play the game anytime soon, read on in the spoilers.

First part of the game says it'll take me about 20 minutes.

Second part of the game tells me it'll take a bit longer than before and I end up fighting a triangle. Yes, a triangle. It turns into an eye and tries to laser you.

Third part says it'll take a lunar month to complete. A LUNAR MONTH! Presumably you sync your game up to the lunar calendar so different things happen at different moon phases. I discover that there's 2 more triangles I need to kill. One on a full moon and one on a new moon.

I decide to play on anyway and end up chasing a bear that is doing the dance Ricky Gervais did in The Office complete with musical grunting.

Eventually I corner the bear in a big fucking treeand beat him up and get a key that allows me to open some door.

I find the door and the room it leads to a room that allows me to spin the moon and enter a time paradox.

I do all the shit waking up these babies that live in the ground. I did this in act two as well. By now this is the most normal part of the game. Big headed babies that fly into the air when you discover how to make them come out of hiding.

Oh fuck, here's another triangle battle! I must mention that this happened after I walked on water and ripped an island out of the sea by dunking the moon into the sea.

Kill triangle and go back to the pedestal where the other triangle I killed now lives in a plinth. By the way, for some reason there's a big fuck off vinyl record hanging up, it must be about 30ft across. Nope, I have no idea either.

I wonder why the act didn't end and figure out I need to do the new moon stuff. Back to the room with the moon in it.

I go back to dreamland for some baby hunting

Cue playing waterfalls like harps and shaking trees to appease babies.

Babies surround tree I killed bear in.

Lightning strikes me and allows me to some how rip tree in half. This tree is about 300ft tall and it probably older than Jesus.

Triangle attack! This time with dangerous rainbows!

Triangle dead. That dancing bears turns up naked and I follow him to see what the fuck is going on.

Walk into a concert where all the characters in game are dancing and idolising the guy that made the game. Bear dude is shaking his flaccid dick around on the amp stacks.

Narrator turns up and ends the act.

Literally the only part of this that makes sense is that they say it will take a lunar month to complete, because if they are following the real lunar calendar then that makes sense to me. Everything is is ripped straight out of a fever dream.

So yeah, this game is made from literal condensed WTF.

I'm right near the end according to the progression bar on the front end menu. I have a feeling this game is 2 arty 4 me in pretty much every sense.

[Sly Reflex]

http://s259.photobucket.com/user/sly_reflex/media/weirdestgameever_zpsb5b9cfa3.png.html'>

Well, that was a satisfying ending. Satisfying in that I'm glad it's finished. Didn't explain fuck all about anything. Literally the most baffling game I've ever played.

Next up is Killing Floor. I think just one online session will do that before I move on, unless you guys want to carry on with it. It's KBAM only, so I know that's Hendo out off the bat.

[Sly Reflex]

Man, Killing Floor is hard as fuck. I can't even get past wave 2. Normally I get killed by the first lot of monsters that arrive.

[Sly Reflex]

Played for about an hour, still couldn't get anywhere. I had a bit of a play about with the class system and it's pretty clear that you need to have a group that is co-ordinated not just on a skill point, but also as a group that is multifaceted in the skills it's carrying.

Played some online with randoms. It was a bit easier, but we still didn't make it to the end of the level. I think that it scales as some of the mobs were pretty big, like 20 guys per wave with specials among them. It might not seem a lot really, if you consider something like Left 4 Dead throws more bodies at you, but those bodies are way easier to dispatch. You sort of have the zombies and they run at you and you put a few bullets into them and they drop and then you have the specials that take a bit more shit before giving up, where as here the bog standard dudes put up a fight enmass but the specials sort of do the same, have more or less the same health (except a few which have more) but are more devious. If that makes sense. The only way to get rid of threats is to pop them in the heads.

Sort of reminds me of PAYDAY a little bit, except this is more focused on shooting loads and load of monsters that all sort of have the same HP but can fuck you up in very different ways because of how they behave.

I'll probably give it another go and see if I can get anyway, and then maybe fuck it off. Mainly because I don't really like playing with randoms and all you buggers are fawning over some game or another instead of taking the chance to play something you wouldn't otherwise because it's a bit different/old.

[Sly Reflex]

This isn't going anywhere. I'm bringing on the next game which is... Man, I can't be arsed typing that out. Just look at the thread title.

[Craymen Edge]

It's a good game, but I don't think it's one you're going to finish as it's just getting high scores on levels to get enough stars to unlock more levels etc. I'd recommend playing a few times, enough to get a feel for the game, unlock some levels, and some of the silly bonus things (particularly the relaxation and anti-relaxation videos).

This and AaaaaAAaaaAAAaaAAAAaAAAAA!!! - A Reckless Disregard for Gravity (which 'For the Awesome' is a kind of sequel/remix of) has some of the best achievement names.

EDIT: Since I last played it, they've implemented Oculus Rift support in the game. That must be fucking nuts.

[Sly Reflex]

I don't think I'm going to complete this. It is good though, I like the risk vs reward nature of nearly having you arms and legs shattered by flying past skyscrapers at terminal velocity.

[Uncle Dokuro]

Just wondering have you picked The Ship out of your tub-o-shame yet Sly?

[Sly Reflex]

Yep, I thought it was crap. If you check the first post you can see what I played, when I roughly played it and if I finished it or not.