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Grand Theft Auto V


Jimboxy
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It took a while to get going, but when it began we had a quality session in between laughing at Laddergoat and Tinchy Stryder.

It continues to throw missions at us I've never seen before as well. Like it wasn't content heavy before. I wonder how many missions will be added to the roster when the heists finally arrive? When will Andy finally break the censor filter on the text messages that it just gives up and lets him send what he wants? Those questions will probably never be answered.

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Fucking hell, Chuckle Bros and Tinchy pretty much had me in hysterics. If American comedys run out of "canned laughter", just record us howling with it. Just cut out all the swearing we do, obviously.

Another night, another brilliant GTA session. Pretty much did fuck all, mission wise. But fun was most definitely had. Me getting a $7000 bounty for robbing some twat's car. Sly then going "come see my new sports car, do you want to drive it?". And then shooting me in the face the second I tried to.

Me then following him to be allowed to take revenge, blaring my comedy horn all the way to his Simeon drop-off point. And the fucker only killed me again, lol.

Bought a massive monster truck for $500,000. Just because.

Oh, and introduced Tromadogg (who I've never really played online with before) to putting the Rockstar obscenity filter to the test. Jizz isn't allowed. Neither is jism. But Cum is,for some reason. Also, it doesn't like crack, as in bum crack. But "your sister likes bum fun" is perfectly acceptable.

Part of the fun is coming up with something pretty crude, and watching it go "yeah, that's fine mate" and sending it to the poor sod of your choice.

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The censor filter gets pushed to the limits every time Andy starts sending texts. A personal favourite was when me and Andy arrived at a mission and we were hovering in my chopper waiting for Troma to turn up. I hear Andy laugh and then I get a message to my phone.

"In flight film: Your Mum."

I wasn't even mad, that was genius.

Also lol at Andy for obeying traffic rules when he's in a fucking monster truck. Brilliant.

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Haha, yeah I was pretty amused by that. If anything, the obscenity filter becomes a challenge. It makes you get creative with what you send. I'd kind of miss it if they ditched it. Anyone can text "fuck off you cunt". It takes work to get around it, and is satisfying when you meet the criteria, eg "your big sister likes big willys".

I'll probably be about tonight. I may be a while though,Sarah is planning our schedule for New York next week and I want to be involved really.

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I'll be on at some point. We should try and focus on missions though, monster trucks and luxury apartments don't pay for themselves. I'm starting to get a lot of missions that ask for between 4 and 6 players to do as well, so that'd be nice if we could fill a lobby enough to be able to do those.

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you saving up ready for the heists Mr Reflex?

Saving money for another place to store cars. I luckily dropped on another modded Ruiner so I think I'm going to have to throw all those rare vehicles I find in another garage that I just use to store nice finds.

I do want to buy the most expensive apartment in the game. Why? I have no idea. I want to have places for 30 cars and then maybe move into buying other things you have to call in, such as boats and planes. I have about $250k in my bank account now, so I might just buy a garage and then let the rest come when it comes.

I didn't actually know you needed money for the heists, from what I've seen you do several missions that all culminate in one final hit, just like the main game missions. God knows when they'll hit, if it comes to it I'll start putting money to one side if it's needed. I don't think we'll be able to do them with a few people though, I've a feeling they're going to be GTAO's version of Destiny's raids. Except this time round you're fighting to control the radio in the car and fending off torrents of obscene text messages.

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The blurb I saw about heists said that you need an apartment with a planning room (i.e. one of the expensive ones), then you need the money upfront to pay for the things you need for the heist, so you have to put down a significant chunk of money up front.

so if you fuck up, then it's your bankroll that gets hurt.

on the flip side, if you're the organiser, you get to choose how the winnings are spread out.

Someone on your team blundered and you had to bail them out repeatedly? say goodbye to your cut..

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The most expensive property in the game now belongs to me. It has a different lay out and a nice enough view, you can see the hills and the Vinewood sign. Worth $500k? Absolutely not, you're paying for the address and view more than anything else. Just like real life.

On the downside, now I am poor again. I think the next plan of action will be to stock up on munitions, the grenade launcher just opened up and I think that to refill everything after that is purchased will run me a 5 figure number. Ammo in this game is ridiculously expensive, to max out on sniper rifle ammo it costs over $50k. That's extortionate.

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