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Table Top Racing: World Tour


HandsomeDead
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This is up for free on PS+ right now, and I played it, so here is some impressions.

 

I think I just want to vent.  Man, do I hate this game.  And for God's sake did I not want to hate it, I didn't want to be that guy.  Table Top Racing is made by X-Wipeout folk, and that game rules so, so much.  And after Sony Liverpool was dissolved this was what came out.  A total mess.  I'm heartbroken.

 

It looks like Micro Machines from the 90s.  I'm from the 90s, and I liked those Micro Machines games.  They should have me in the palm of hair hands, nodding to a game from the 90s with me, as desperate as I am to hold on to my youth (got ID'd last week, I'm still a teen really).

 

But no, this game is really, really confused.

 

It is a lot like Micro Machines in a way.  The tracks take place on table tops and its all small and cute, avoiding bread sticks and stuff.  But, one of the 'cars' you can buy at the start to race in is the Breaking Bad meth wagon (it has official licencing) so I dunno what they're going for with tone ( Coming from a Mobile origin I guess who cares?).

 

But screw all that: It's about the gameplay.  That's what gamers tell me.  Even though it is Micro Machines in presentation and has adult content officially licensed in a game that doesn't warrant it... and has a soundtrack that tries to beat Motorstorm: Pacific Rift despite in wubs despite not building up the atmosphere to make it work.

 

The game itself is just shitty.  It's a crude mobile port.  Knowing it came from a gyroscode design I do respect it in a way.  It's a Mario Kart style game that solely requires knowing the tracks for the best racing line, a lot like Wipeout I guess, but it is just executed in such an unsatisfying way; a way that is so unfun, especially compared to Mario Kart which it clearly tries to be as well; a game where it is more fun the faster you go thanks to the drift mechanic.  This game punishes going fast in a silly way, despite presenting itself as Micro machines, at least visually.  It's like it requires you to drive carefully, be sensible, hitting those apexes right (in a game where you drive through billiard balls like they're paper, with wubs, driving a meth van, with Mario Kart power ups).  It's just all wrong.  Play it!  Tell me it works!

 

 

I just can't believe these veterans got this so wrong, or they don't care anymore and just want to make something to tick enough boxes for loads of people to work.  But this shit doesn't click, and it won't work on a large audience.. I guess they looked a Rocket League and thought they had the game to be this year's version.  I expected better from these guys.  Fuck this game.  It's the fucking worst.

 

Fuck this game.  I've not hated a game this much in ages.  Thanks for that, I guess.

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I played it for 10 minutes the day it came out on PS+, was expecting a nice Mario Kart/Toybox Turbos/Micro Machines clone, didn't have high expectations but thought it would at least be fun.

 

Played the first race, hated every second of it then uninstalled it, never to be played again.

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2 hours ago, Nag said:

Just out of interest, did you actually buy the drift wheels? that's the only way you'll actually be able to drift.

 

I guess not, but I did fully upgrade my car (the Beetle thing) with drift stat maxed out. 

 

I do think it's that bad.  Rubs the wrong way in too many areas. 

 

 

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I've played the iOS version which I remember liking but I can't remember much else about it.

I have heard that drift wheels make it better but ultimately you need to drop them if you want to win later races.

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Yeah, this is alright.

I picked the bug, did a few of the first events and fully upgraded it. Put the drift wheels on after a couple of events and I think I prefer without, to be honest.

 

@Nag I think this is a sequel. It's pretty much the same idea, same view and everything.

 

 

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I've finished the cult classics (amateur) races and started on the street racers one which becomes more fluid and better to control. At least it does with the Japanese drift car I'm using.

 

I went hunting for coins and got enough to buy all the initial cars and upgrade them fully. Only got a couple of tyres left to buy too.

 

I'm struggling a bit on the odd event (drift ones are a bitch) but on the whole I like it. It's not amazing or anything but I don't think it deserves its reputation.

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