Dark Souls

[Sly Reflex]

I'm now power levelling my toon using the Winged Spear. It's a lovely weapon, although it could do with some sort of swipe attack so you can hit multiple opponents should the occasion arise. I'm going to spend a bit more time levelling and then go take on the Taurus Demon on the bridge.

[Sly Reflex]

Well, that was a pretty good session.

I started off and did a few killings to get warmed up, then went through the fog and came face to face with the Taurus Demon. Needless to say, I seriously fucked him up. Good riddance you big ugly fat cunt. After that I went back and spent some souls and then returned to the scene of the bull massacre and ventured forth. I got the white soapstone.

I ran up the bridge and managed to get to safety before getting toasted, set the short cut up and pressed forward. I got the drake sword and witnessed the funniest bloodstain ever. Some guy was firing arrows with me and then he just sort of fell off the edge. I did a bit of recon and saw a load of hollowed and some fucking massive piece of metal waiting for me, so I took the other direction and came face to face with a NPC. I tried to talk to him. He 1 hit killed me. Fucking cunt. Anyway, I retrieved my souls and then got the fuck out of there. I wont mess with that dick again. I went to get a closer look at at the other way the game was letting me go, pulling the mobs and killing them until I could get close enough to see what the metal thing was until the fucking thing decide that it was going to give me a closer look my running right over me and trampling me. The mechaboar or whatever it was soon became full metal porkchop.

I cleared the area out and then found a little staircase with the red skinned guys. I was fighting in that room and one of the bastards managed to jump on my head while I was fighting on the stairs and nearly kill me. Anyway, I finished that area and found a key. "Hmm," I think "This must open the door or the portcullis or something." I say to myself. So I go to all the portcullises in the local are and nothing. Nada. They wont open. Up on peering though the grate gates I notice a bonfire, although through back tracking I realise it's right under the big red dragon on the bridge. I considered running up the bridge to the bonfire but I think that is suicide. I stock up on arrows and start filling the red cunt with flint. I'm doing so little damage I cannot tell if it's working, so after a few hundred arrows of various calibur, I give up on that. The key I found must fit somewhere around here, so I went back to the Burg and found a door that can only be opened from the other side.

So this leaves me a few possibilities.

• I kill the knight in the Burg with his back to me.
  
• I kill the fat bastard at the bottom of the rampart.
  
• I kill The dragon. Somehow.
  

So I decided to have a pop at the turned back knight. My intentions were to get a cheap shot in, run back up into the area where the house and ladder is and just chip away at him, while occasionally making a break for the roof to swig from the Estus if I take too much damage. Anyway, I managed to get the knight down to low health a few times, but a lapse of concentration saw my guard getting broke and me biting the blade. One time when I tried to get on the roof to heal, some fucking silly bollocks put a note right at the bottom of the ladder saying "Watch out for fatty!" or some shit. This got me instakilled because I panicked and couldn't get up the ladder before the big lad fucking skewered me. I eventually managed to chip the big cunt to death at which point he turned into a celestial wisp and gave me something I don't know what is. I went and checked down where he was protecting and there was no door. There was a ring though that I assume gives you a boost when you are low on health, from what I could figure out. I did notice that down them stairs there is another corridor you can go down, but it leads to nowhere.

While I was fighting the knight I noticed someone put a sign down just off the beaten track, on the rampart stairs there is some masonry knocked out so you can drop down to get whatever loot it is from the corpse, although I can see no way back up. I might have a look into it if I ever lose everything.

Bewildered, I make my way back checking all the walls to see if I've missed anything. I get all the way back to the mechapork area and notice that underground with all the weaker redskin dudes there is a ladder. I climbed up there and found a fog door. I don't really want to go through it just yet, there were no signs on it which I find a bit weird simply because the few I have been through have had soap all over them. It wouldn't surprise me if I walk right into a boss fight. If I've learnt anything from this game already it's that it likes throwing players in the deep end, fucking them and then eating the remains.

I think for next session I might try and kill big red protecting that bonfire. Bar the fog door it seems to be the only way forward. Plus that bonfire is tantalisingly close.

[wholehole]

Thanks for this Sly, still love reading about adventures through the Souls games!

[Sly Reflex]

I am thinking of upgrading some stuff. Any pointers? I want to give my pokey stick some more oomph. Speaking of pokey stick, when I was fighting the tin of spam I stuck that motherfucker right up its arse. I think I got shit on my thumb it went so far in.

[wholehole]

Not really, just start upgrading the weapon you're using with whatever mats you have or can afford. This early on if you can get a +2 or more weapon it'll be an advantage.

At +5 you'll be able to add bonus effects like fire, and then eventually upgrade to other bonus effects and rare weapons with the souls of the boss demons you kill (just make sure you hold onto them and don't use them for the souls). Any rare requires a +10 base weapon of any type, plus a specific Demon's soul, and although you won't be making any rares for quite a while it's good to get upgrades started early.

[halfagogo]

dont bother with the dragon - you really dont need to open that gateway - your about to find loads of shortcuts.

you can use its firebreathing and bridge enemies for a quick 30 seconds 500 souls run from the burg fire to the bridge and back. - its viable whilst at low levels.

watch out for the caped guys in parish - around the church - especially the ones with rouns shields - they will fuck you up if you let them.

also the naked undead can nail you with a super fast melee, even at high levels if your careless.

dont bother with the armoured guy at the bottom of the tower where you go up for the taurus demon - you can spam him easily with a bow or spear once you hit aroudn lvl 20 - 25.

go find the black smith (enter the parish church & exit right before the altar - keep going then down - he is there and its another safety hub. - he will set you up for smithing etc.

had a great night on it too myself - finally went back to demon ruins (i have been avoiding it tbh) - did a punishment invasion - got nailed but its all so poilite & formal (guys bowed to my death camera) - lack of chat really helps - then got help from a guy online to kill the firesage demon (he was great and had just done it himself) then tried with him again to kill the centipede demon - with npc summon (whoever came up with the centipede bit was pushing comparisons) - failed twice (lava) then fucked him up in 30 seconds as a hollow with a crystal halberd.

it also opens up a great shortcut - i was starting to worry about all the walking.

now currently on a weapon leveling run (whoring achievements).

[wholehole]

There is a really simple way to kill that Dragon, it's a glitch with the enemy pathing but it'll net you a ton of souls and remove him from that bridge.

I'll spoiler it just in case you'd rather not know.

There's a spiral staircase in the tower just before the tin of spam's location. At the top is a relatively tough knight so be careful when fighting him. From the top you'll be able to see the Dragon guarding the bridge, pop a few arrows in his back until he flies off, give it about 30 secs or so and you'll see a large numbers of souls granted to you. Problem solved.

I did it in my NG+ and it works a treat, but there's really not much point in killing him aside from the souls.

[halfagogo]

that didt work with me, thought that spot would be great for sniping (as there usually is one with every boss) but he flew off & came back.

[wholehole]

Hopefully they fixed it at some point as it was a bit rubbish.

You can do a similar thing with one of the later bosses as well. He looks awesome but you run in to his lair to wake him up then run all the way back to the entrance and he falls down a hole and dies

[Sly Reflex]

Darwin Souls.

[Sly Reflex]

I went through the fog and had a bit of a look around. Those cape guys are a bit fierce. The area doesn't look as bad I was expecting it to. I was expecting to walk through the fog and get a sword in the face in all honesty. Anyway, I opened the gate where robobabe was. I noticed I was close to levelling up so I made my way back to the bonfire in Burg. I was short by more than I thought so I refreshed the mobs and went on a killing spree right up to the bridge going the scenic route (although in hindsight I should have just let the dragon char those guys on the bridge, I wasn't thinking). At the end of my killing spree I noticed there was a door I didn't try that key with. Surprisingly it unlocked, I was more or less predicting it was going to tell me I needed to open it up from the other side like every other fucking door in the game.

I went down the worlds longest ladder, took a look, got attacked by something that tried to give me the aids and hot footed it out of there. I had a lot of souls on me that needed to be cashed in and didn't want to fuck it up. I went back and levelled up. I went back up to the bridge and decided to see if I could make a run for the bonfire there. I managed to get up top and run through his feet, but got my arse toasted. I still managed to hoof it around the corner, but is was seriously close as fuck. I felt like I'd achieved something though, which was nice. So now I have a straight run from the bonfire on the bridge right up to the Parish. I decided to have a pop at the knight again, but this time I managed a backstab, and then a fireball before fucking off to the pig area. What I was doing was walking up on the catwalk area where those two bowmen are and dropping off, then getting a crafty stab on him while he recovered. He managed to pin me right against the wall just before he fell off to his demise right on the fire. I think it instakilled him. I'm not sure if it was a fair kill to be honest, I would have killed him using the method I was using, I just didn't expect something like that to happen, it was a bit spontaneous. It felt like when you touch the blood stains and watch someone do something incredibly stupid, only this time it was the games AI making a fuck up.

I had a quick look in the parish and it appears there is a big black motherfucker in there. I think I'll try and see if I can make him drop in the fire again, unless he can only travel so far. I should go look and see if those cape guys respawn on resting, as I'm guessing if you don't take them seriously they could fucking ruin your day.

Something else to note, when I was doing my run through the Burg to top of my souls to level up, I was literally swatting those cunts like they were nothing. I've fought some of those mobs that often I can see where the openings for me to attack from a mile away.

I'm guessing the gate in the Burg in that house near the fire throwing bridge is the shortcut route from that Victorian inspired slum? I noticed when I came back to level up that the messages were showing up on the ground since I'd been there. In that respect this game is totally amazing, the way you look at the backdrops and think them just as back drops, then in a few hours time you are actually playing on them and looking back at the areas you've just cleared. Sometimes I just stand and work out which parts of the map are where. It is an amazing piece of design.

[halfagogo]

the victorian inspired slum as you put it is lower undead burg - its got loads those shitty poisoner dogs & assassin guys who will jump out & back stab you so be careful.

if i remember correctly you can also use the key from the undead merchant to rescue an npc.

there is some poison resit gear around there too.

it also leads to the female undead merchant and a shortcut to the burg/firelink tunnel.

the fog gate leads to the capra demon who some people find tough but you should probably tackle him when your undead and have fuck all souls.

[Sly Reflex]

I seem to remember some people playing fuck up about that Capra Demon. I'm going to leave that area for now. I think my next play session is going to revolve around that big guy at the top end of the portcullises in the church. It looks like he has a full body shield!

[halfagogo]

in other news, lost izalith is dull as shit so far - lure big hopping demons, arrow spam & repeat.

got as far as the 2nd bonfire & called it quits (they dont respawn).

finally took of my ring of grace & favour off (it was sweet while i had it and it breaks when you take it off but i need more rings space - you can only put your fingers in so many).

[wholehole]

The Capra Demon can be tough if you don't down him the first time you enter the room. The reason being is that he spawns at the opposite end of the room from the door the first time you enter. On subsequent visits he'll be right on top of you the second you come through the fog gate, usually getting a big hit in before you have a chance to move.

He's not that bad though, there's just no room for error when it comes to reading his attacks.

I played a bit again last night, ran around the Undead Burg for a bit then invaded a few worlds and got invaded a bunch of times. Didn't do too badly considering I hadn't played for a while. Went through a couple of guys like butter then met a dude who had the biggest axe I've ever seen in the game. My first mistake was trying to block his swing which completely ripped all of my stamina away, my second mistake was underestimating the speed, range and swing arc of the damn thing. It only took two hits before I crumpled to the floor as a lifeless husk

[Sly Reflex]

Fuck me, that was a brutal session.

I started at bridge and worked my way towards the cunt in the church. I dragged the first caped cunt out of the church and twated the cunt all over. Didn't even bother holding a shield up. Two hands on the Drake fucking ruins those cunts. Anyway, I noted that someone had left a soap stone down warning me of the hidden guy on the left, sure enough the little bitch comes running out and gets a few hits off on me, so I switch to the Winged Spear and start chiselling away 20 points at a time. The cunt goes to drink from his Estus so I run in for the kill and he one hit kills me in retaliation. Fucking cunt. So I repeat the same thing again and this time I don't give him any quarter, as soon as I'm back peddling and he launches an attack I jump down his throat and take a massive shit. Out of the standard enemies this is the cunt I don't like at all. He's a fucking cunt, no other way about it. Once everyone in the church was dispatched I tried getting the attention of the black guy carrying the fucking coffee table and ended up getting zapped by something from above that I couldn't see. I could hear footsteps running about so I went back onto the steps and waited to see what was trying to get me. Nothing happened. I decided to take the other way around to coffee table cunt and dragged him outside. Man did that guy take some fucking abuse. I kept running from him and hoping he'd make a mistake, all the way over to the stairs. Then the cunt started spazzing out. I'm not sure what the fucking deal was there, I think there must be some aggro borders or some shit, which is a bit annoying as I was really trying to get him all the way to the pig area and try and set the bitch on fire. Anyway, I managed to kill him, although I'm not really satisfied. I went into the place where he lived and there was a sorcerer or some shit up top, he was the one responsible for zapping me. I got closer a few times to make sure he was a hostile and then filled the bollockchops full of arrows.

I knew upstairs is where the bell is, so I decided to look around and found a fortress with a guy sat outside it. I then went the other way back and found the blacksmith and the bonfire. I went down the staircase and got killed by whatever the fuck that thing it down the stairs. I went down again with the intention of hacking the shit up and seriously got caught out by its reach. So, yeah, numerous souls lost and 9 humanity gone. In a fit of rage I went right back in to that den, two-handed the drake sword and beat the fucker senseless. I've no idea what the fuck it was, but I turned it into gravel. Fucking bastard. I had a gander at the garden are and got attacked by a triffid. I've no real reason to go down that way yet. I just need to take care of the bells. I went back with the intention of seeing what was upstairs in the church and noticed a doorway, so I had a closer inspection and found out it was a lift that goes all the way back down to Firelink. Nice. Now I can grab 10 Estus from that bonfire. I went back and pinched one out down that rapier cunts neck and then got gang rushed by loads of redskins. I went further up and come across another rapier guy. Have some shit for lunch you annoying cunt. I found a prisoner, and despite other players leaving marks saying he was deceitful, I let him out. If it comes back to bite my in the cock I'll deal with it then.

After that I went up on the roof to deal with the gargoyles. Same tactic as before, 2 handed on the Drake sword. I got the bugger right down to minimum health, and I mean one strike would have offed him. It was then I did something stupid. Cue me rolling of the church roof. For fucks sake. I immediately went back up there and struggled a bit the second time, It took me ages to get behind him. I managed to whittle him down to a tiny fragment of health again and another fucking gargoyle shows up! I danced about a bit trying to get close but just couldn't manage it at all. I don't think the gargoyles are that hard to be honest if you are fighting them alone. When you get tagged team you are pretty much fucked though, you really need to rub the first one before the next one comes. I did notice that the taisl have axes on them, I'm guessing I can sever them like I did with the Drake sword?

Next session that bell is getting rung. It was going off while I was playing, this area of the map was brimming with people playing.

[wholehole]

I decided to look around and found a fortress with a guy sat outside it.

Sen's Fortress This has to be my favourite level/area/map ever designed. It's a fucking beast.

You can cut off the first Gargoyle's tail to get a cool looking axe, it's nowhere near as good as the Drake Sword (you'll be using that for quite a while) but it's worth picking up. It's secondary attack is pretty fun as well.

Also, I forgot to mention a little tip. It's well worth offering your services to other players outside boss rooms before you go in for the kill. It gives you experience of the boss with nothing to lose, but if you defeat it you get all the souls and a humanity as well. I used to sit outside boss rooms throwing my sign down for ages just helping people out and accruing shitloads of souls in the process.

When it came time to kill the boss myself, I'd reverse hollow and summon a few guys in if there were any signs about. It's alot of fun running at a boss with three other players and absolutely spanking it.

I still wish they'd have thought about the multiplayer a bit more and given you the option to invite friends into your game, without getting kicked after every boss. It would've been amazing to trawl through the world with three other people smashing it up. I still hope this is the case for the next game.

I was doing this when the game first came out so I have no idea if the servers are busy enough to make this worthwhile anymore, but it's alot of fun if you're able to do it. Let me know if you try it and how you fared!

[Sly Reflex]

Well, the bell was going off periodically, so I am guessing so.

This game is beast.

I forgot to mention, I got a black shield from one of the mini bosses. When I shed everything and just have the Drake I weigh in at 13. My 25 or lower weight is 14.something. My usual weight is 20 somthing. I need to either shed weight or start spending points. The weird thing is I've found no armour better than the stuff I currently have on. Weird. The new sheild is really good compared to then one I was using before.

I also forgot to mention the awesome soapstone marking on the floor in front of the blacksmith.

"Awesome chest ahead"

[halfagogo]

there is better markings to come!

forgot if you haven't killed the black knight on the tower in parish try luring him into the church (clear entire area 1st).

that demon under the blacksmith is a titanite demon, you did very well to melee him, my usual tactic is to arrow spam them while scenery blocks his electricity.

i think there is a chest behind the blacksmith, never hit him. dont worry about that dude you freed, its a good side story later.

go human for gargoyles you can summon an npc - the dude you met before the dragon/after taurus and an online player if you are lucky. so easy then. spank spank spankeroo.

as annoying as the parish enemies are you will soon be running around killing all without a though. still hate the caped guys but they drop decent armour and shields for current stage.

talk to all npcs and dont just randomly kill them, there is always branching stories and most importantly, payback.

im not even done and im getting nostalgic.

you can kill that merchant in burg if you have all you need, gives a sweet sweet sword, better than drake sword. buy a good whack of electric powder first though.

[halfagogo]

edit: and imho, sens fortress is cool, but only when you have done it!